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Excuse me while I find you something else
And somewhere else to occupy yourself.
The truth is, that cheesecake doesn’t need you
In its personal space at the moment.
Now let’s just move right along. Move along.
Go on with you now. Yes. You. I’m talking
To you. No one else. That “innocent” look
Has nobody fooled. You’re fooling no one.
And I’m not trying to be mean. You know
That you won’t resist temptation alone.
Cheesecake conquers self control faster than
Hot-blooded Americans realize,
Especially if mealtime was more than-
Er — a minute or two ago. You want
Some for yourself and you might as well tell
Everyone, including yourself, the truth.
Come away with me before you fall to
Agonizing depths of diet failure.
Kindly leave the table, then stay away.
Enjoy a nice big slice of self-control!
by Gwennon
November 27, 2019
for my German Shepherd, “Roosevelt”, who has expressed no overwhelming disdain for all desserts