Grant to me this long-lost pleasure
Which I loved in years long past.
Put this joy where I can reach it
Which lies now beyond my grasp:
Years ago I used to savor
Hours in Your Word alone.
Now my Bible’s lost its flavor,
And my heart has turned to stone.
Give once more a holy hunger
To draw ever close to God;
Take away this heart divided.
Give instead a heart unflawed.
Let me love You as I used to,
Seeking God in all my ways,
And forevermore I’ll praise You,
Trusting Jesus all my days.
by Gwennon — October 2, 2012
I have a story, then an apology for you. But I’ll start with the story. (Those of you who want to just get to the apology can skip this next paragraph.)
This was a poem that was prophesied to me in a dream. I was standing outside an auditorium with a stack of my books (this is one of the reasons I knew I was dreaming because my poems have not yet found a publisher), and most of the people were leaving. I was alone, and about to pack up when I saw a man I did not recognize (and would not recognize today were I to see him again), who told me, “I especially enjoyed your poem, ‘Indulgence’!” Then I woke up. Confused. Because I had never written any such thing. For well over a year – or perhaps longer—I pondered on this dream and what it might mean. And I kept the title “Indulgence” in mind, wondering what it could be referring to. I prayed over that confusing idea for a long time. Finally, in October, it came together, to my great surprise and relief. I hope you have enjoyed it.
Now for the apology:
I want to apologize to the kindly friends who have been faithfully reading my poetry blog. In the past few days, because God has been so generous, I have written several new poems. In my pride and enthusiasm, I have posted sometimes two or three times a day, elevating my blog from a (I hope) useful hobby to the level of an idol that I began to worship instead of God. And, instead of appreciating and striving to serve those who were reading it, I began looking to you for the affirmation and approval that only God can give. I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform. And I put a lot of pressure on all of you to read my writings as fast as I was posting them. I am so sorry. In the process of all this self-indulgent idolatry, I also neglected several very important and pressing duties at home that would have rewarded me much better and certainly sooner than any internet LIKEs.
To relieve pressure on all of us, my plan is that for the next seven and a half weeks, I will restrict myself to posting one poem daily Monday through Friday, with perhaps an occasional Saturday posting. Then, we can all take two weeks off to rest, relax, and sleep in. (Ok. Wishful thinking on the sleeping in idea.)
Thank you for reading my writings.
May God bless you richly in your real lives!
Thankful for each of you,