, , , ,

I found in me
A littleness
I did not know was there.
Such shocking knowledge
Catches me
Completely unaware—
I knew that
Jesus came to save
The rest of humankind,
But knowing
My own fallen state
I did not want to find!
Yet, now I know
I’ll turn to Him
For all eternity,
And while I’m glad
He’s here for you,
Rejoice He’s here for me!

by Gwennon
11:30 am
April 24, 2013
while waiting in the dentist’s office.

This poem comes on the heels of an ugly disagreement I had with my husband this morning, and I am very sad and shocked to have to report to you that the ugliness was not in my husband.

He had made the kind of mistake that everyone makes, but which was so timed as to throw my whole morning schedule out of kilter. Instead of offering the same grace he so often offers unconditionally to me, I’m afraid I let him have it. To the extent that my daughter blurted to me as we were driving to school, “Mom! You are not giving Dad any grace!”

I knew I was not, but continued to hold on to the angry, hostile feelings for another 30 minutes, while seeking to justify my reaction.

Finally, I realized that I could either let my ugly attitude become a permanent part of my heart, continue to feed it with my angry thoughts, let its powerful tentacles spread throughout my body and my marriage, and eventually watch it drag me down to hell. Or, I could ask Jesus to put more of His love into my heart.

I’d like to say that making the right choice here was easy for me. But it wasn’t.

Although I have since apologized to my husband, I may yet have some rebuilding to do to repair all the damage I did earlier today with hurtful words.

Feel free to pray for me, if you are so inclined,


P.S. Here are some Bible verses that apply to my situation that I hope might also be helpful to you:

I Peter 4:8
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

I Corinthians 13:4a
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind.”
My paraphrase of the same:
“Love is continually willing to put up with stuff over long periods of time without losing the ability to extend kindness to the love-ee – the one giving grief.” I mean this to refer to an innocent person, such as my husband, who occasionally gives grief without meaning to and without any intended malice. (I really don’t apply this verse to those selfish, greedy users who take advantage of people for as long as they can and then move on to their next victims.)

John 3:16-17
“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”

I especially love the second verse of this passage, which is often neglected, falling into the shadows of the more popular previous verse. This is not to say that people can’t go to hell, because they can, and without Jesus, they do every day.

What I want to emphasize here is that while the rest of us are finding fault with everyone around us, Jesus is looking for ways to redeem and restore everyone who turns to Him for help.

Enough sermonizing for today?

Ok. See ya later.